Spiriata and Automatic Writing

Wednesday Oct 15 2008

Ah, a new post about the Mind Map again πŸ™‚ It’s been a while since I remarked about that, heheΒ  if you look at the previous post here – you’ll see why.

So what of my Mind Map?

Well, my first notebook on that has been concluded, I find working with one aspect of the Psyche’ is the best way to categorise a group of thoughts rather than using Lion’s manual for making a completely indexed catalogue of thoughts and processes. That approach didn’t work for me – my head doesn’t work that way! LOL I found it to be a little like trying to plug a UK appliance into a US power point. Not only would it blow up, but it just wouldn’t work!

My first notebook was on identity, a select few will know more about it but no more will be said here πŸ˜‰ I’m still working on a Map though, there will probably be another book about my wedding and related thoughts shortly – as soon as I can grab some more pads.

I also have another book of chaos and story fragments – I used one of those on the InterNOC webForum. I thought it might be a good base for something we’re trying to do there. The story I actually posted was the stub, or beginning of another story I’ve been working on – there’s more to it but it would take the focus away from the task at InterNOC.

And of Automatic Writing?

This is a tricky one to talk about – put it this way, these blog posts are a form of Automatic Writing, it’s the process by which you just spill all of your thoughts out from your head and onto a page or, in this case, into a form online.

Work has been pretty slow of late, so the point came where I wanted to do some more writing. I wanted to write more of my stories but I just couldn’t win against the blank page, a sort of writer’s block if you will.

I couldn’t think of anything to write, so I wrote something like: “There’s nothing worse than staring a blank page down, it usually wins” and there, that little phrase stayed for a while. Until I had the notion to add some other thoughts to it. It certainly started me going again, but alas nothing new on the Story front, yet.

The process of Automatic Writing, as I understand is where your subconcious wishes to tell you something but can’t quite talk to you directly.

Why? well, again as I understand it,Β  at the time the subconcious made the thought, the concious brain had moved onto another thought. Writing things inbetween the subconcious thought and the next concious thought is brought to a pause while the subconcious thought is written down. Then your concious mind moves on with it’s next thought.

It’s a bit like driving really, you don’t necesarilly know conciously that you need to brake in order to slow down, that process is automatic, while your concious mind focuses on what’s happening on the road in front of you.

This is probably an over-simplification of the process, but I think this is how best I can describe it so that someone will understand.

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Okay, so I joined the masses of the maritally joined on the 3rd Oct, the Wedding itself went really well actually, surprisingly well – usually, there will be something that goes wrong. Not on that day though πŸ™‚ Before you go harping on about having a positive outlook on life, consider that having such a sceptical approach to things allows you to be pleasantly surprised when things go well, rather than unpleasantly disappointed when things didn’t go as well as you’d hoped.

So, having been married almost 2 weeks now I can tell you nothing changed – hehe life carries on as it did before we were married, very much as expected really – he and I had been living together for a year and had no arguments or serious troubles at all.

Some people asked if I was excited before the day, well I wasn’t really. It was one of those situations where you don’t know what to feel/expect or think. I knew inside we’d be fine, marriage was just the final tying of the knot, kind of like putting the last piece of our jigsaw in the middle. The picture as a whole was largely there and recognised as the final stage, that last piece just confirmed it.

So is it a Blessing, or a Curse? Well – to be honest it’s early days πŸ™‚ I can’t tell you it’s the greatest thing since fire and a cooked meal nor can I tell you it’s the worst thing since the meteor that wiped out the Dinosaurs. All I can tell you, is that the trust between James and I is stronger than it ever was before, we both know we’re now married and have a true and unyielding commitment to each other. That, in itself, eases some of the points where our relationship seemed a little strained – I talk more of James in this respect, he’s never been one to solidly plant his feet until he knows exactly where to plant them and that it would be safe. His overprotection of his feelings often led to my feeling cold, but never unloved.

That’s not exactly the clearest explanation, but certainly the one that best describes some of the situations we were in before. Now that we’re married – that aspect seems to have all but eroded away.