Another week another entry :)

What a weekend that was, James and I spent Saturday night with his friend and friend’s wife at their caravan in Crail. Much wine and vodka-coke was consumed during the night. We spent the night talking about such wonderful topics as to just how many times they were snowed in at Aviemore and resultant hijinks, Pet’s Ailments, Which sex is truly the strongest and a mishmash of other topics that blur into fuzzy incomprehension. I was pretty sozzled and indeed, no hang over was incurred *thanks the great deity of alcohol* of course, everyone knows that deity is really just the IPU in a cunning disguise

I’ll have another update shortly for now, I offer you this bite of my life

Spontaneous expletives…

You all know I’ve been under a great amount of stress lately right?
Well this morning I think it all hit a boiling point, just before getting out of the car, I felt an insane urge to just shout out expletives. I was in the car, so I just let it go. Amazingly, it seemed to help for some strange reason, I actually felt better after it. Yes, everything is still crap but just being angry and shouting even if its at nobody in particular seems to be very therapeutic.

Pity I’m the type to hold things in a lot longer than they should be, its just the way I’m made really – I don’t see much benefit in getting angry at someone it just makes them feel crap too and usually it leaves someone with a grudge, either you or your target and in the long term, that is a bad thing, but on the same vein, keeping it all in isn’t very good either – I’ve been struggling with a sore back and shoulders for over a week now and I think I need to let the pressure go but to what end I wonder…

Birthday week!

Its been almost a week since my last post, so its time to beat down and put another blog post up what will it be about today?

Well, since its mine and my husband’s birthday this week I thought that should be worth a mention!

My husband’s birthday is in fact today(7th July) and mine will be on Friday, so to that end we had a long weekend from work to celebrate….. of course, things never quite go to plan do they? LOL after a lovely meal on Sunday afternoon, he fell on the stairs and hurt his leg. He twisted his knee quite badly and he couldn’t really walk without a great deal of help, so that kinda ruined our party a bit early.

Hehe, and would you believe for him, his leg became sufferable just in time for him to start work again! *sigh* Sod’s law seems to favour us recently…

Still, not all bad – we have an opportunity to visit with one of his friends up in Crail (North East Scotland) next weekend, so pending all of our pennies working out, we might end up out there next Saturday and Sunday.

A Thought on people watching…

This may seem a little weird to some people, or maybe its something everyone does When sitting in that global phenomenon called traffic (you know, it happens because everyone goes home at the same time) and am not otherwise engaged, I tend to look around and observe people you know, the ones pottering off to the station or shops or simply walking home.

It tells you a lot, just to take a step back and look around you, you see many different kinds of people all with the same inperfections that you worry about, you know that mismatched top your wearing, or that scraggly stray hair that wont stop getting into your eyes. Then you can look at yourself and smile at being so fussy before.

It reminds me of those infamous lines from Filo+Peri’s “Anthem” feat. Eric Lumiere (Spotify: “Anthem” feat. Eric Lumiere.) “Sometimes its easier, to turn aroud and look in the mirror.” the song is a dancey track, but those words always had a deep meaning for me.

On that point, let me talk about Spotify for a minute – when a friend first introduced this to me, I thought there had to be a catch with it, there is a tiny one but really its hardly a catch at all – there are adverts in it, but very few and hardly enough to bother your experience too much. Basically the skinny is that Spotify lets you listen to any song or artist you like to at any time. It has full tracks for loads of songs, and well known and rare songs at that. You can listen to them absolutely free. If you don’t have it, download it and give it a go with the link above – I promise you, you wont regret it.

I know that sounds a lot like an advert of my own, and it is, but I choose to share it because I think its worth it for anyone to try.

There comes a time when…

That phrase “Another Day Another Dollar” needs to be gutted, hung, and made to suffer a long lingering and painful death. People need to wake up and understand that if you keep doing work that you don’t enjoy or engage with, it will destroy you, your soul and anything else it can get its grubby little claws on. There always must be a line drawn as to how much you’ll let the little bugger consume of you before you use your crowbar and wrench yourself away.

Sure, you need to make money to keep the bills paid and food on the table, but that doesn’t mean you need to just sit there and let the bugger gorge itself on your essence and soul. There will almost always be an alternative out there if you look hard enough, but that safe secure feeling the bugger dupes you with will keep you feeling scared and anxious about ‘what’s out there’.

I guess, the best analogy to come up with in this case is that it’s like a cigarette addiction, the victim of the addiction keeps feeling safe and secure about smoking – so much so, that the notion of a life without that warm glow a cigarette gives you would just be horrifying or otherwise just terrible and foreboding. Then, of course, the cigarette will eventually take EVERYTHING from you – the key is not to let it.

I don’t smoke myself, so if anyone out there disagrees with the analogy, please let me know.

In other news, well there hasn’t been much of an update to make here – but I still kept my promise to post at least one blog post a week, better yet, there might be a few more coming either today or before the end of the week. It’s been a nasty couple of weeks to date, our project is in its death throws and its hectic as hell.

Still, again I hope to have another blog post or two soon remember, you can catch me on Twitter @lisa107b if you wish to hook up and chat.

Lisa

The Cycle Chronology….

I’ll be honest with you, blog/diary/outlet or whatever I want to call you! I’m noticing a pattern with my moods, and I want to log them… apologies for anyone reading, some of these will be downer entries.

Chronology 1: Wednesday 24 June 2009
I’m feeling rather low today, I’d be encouraged to write why here, so I’ll do that if I keep enough chronologies going – I might see the pattern I’m looking for. If I think these feelings can be linked to tiredness, then I’d be correct – at the moment I’m tired. Not just physically tired, but it dawned on me today that I’m mentally tired too. I have so much creative energy inside and its not finding an outlet, I’m useless at drawing and only have time to write when I have the time available to me to write where else can I put some energy into? I’m scared mostly that if I don’t find the outlet soon, I might lose the creative edge I believe I have. The current job is unrewarding, but the kicker, is that I can’t even decide where to go in life from here everywhere seems blocked for some reason or other. It may be time for me to think about some sort of break…. but then bills, bills, bills keep me needing to rot away in an emotional prison……………

In Scotland…

You never expect to get a day like this!
It’s the first time I’ve seen such a flawless day in…. well a long time!

Finding the lost Inspiration

Well, this is the first blog post that will be submitted via email, so please forgive me if it all goes wonky with the formatting and stuff.

I couldn’t help but wonder at the point in trying to think about a new blogpost, yes – I want to keep my promise to post a new entry a week. Hopefully though, I’ll manage more – it depends on how things go

I’ve got lots on at the moment, I’d like to write some more of my story – but it’s been difficult for me to get into the mindset to allow the words to flow, there are a number of reasons for this.
One reason being that work, as usual, isn’t helping matters – it’s very dull and unchallenging. Seriously my mind just shuts down in the face of such dull mediocrity and I’m not just saying that to be funny, I find it quite a serious problem. A problem, which I hope to solve soon. Another reason is that I’ve not been getting a great amount of sleep lately either – its been very hot over here and we are not used to such weather, the timetables I must keep for the mediocrity is at the very least, exhausting – 05:30 up every morning, until 17:45 in the evening and then bed at 22:00 on the dot. I know some people have no problems with those times, but, I’m very much a night person and have to force myself to be a daytime one, which is simply not my naturally productive state.

I don’t see why everyone in the working world, has to start and finish at the very same time. The internet and the digital age ought to omit any backward need that, and, I might add, would make the problems of rush-hour disappear as well as helping to cut Co2 emissions, not that I see much substance to the concept of global warming(the planet has been changing climate for millennia), but that’s a debate for another day.

The lack of sleep though is not only a precursor for another bout of depression (having gone through one breakdown already this month) but also not the best antidote for a dose writers block.

Some writers use music for inspiration and I find that music does indeed help, but only when the music matches your mood – variety is the spice of life and all that!

Soundscaping can also help too, this is where the music your listening to actually paints a scene in your mind – these are usually instrumental pieces not slow classical but actual modern instrumentals. Think Philip Glass, the genius behind the music for Lord Of The Rings. If you listen to his music, you don’t need to have wathced the movies to imagine the scene he tries to paint in your mind.

I find that this kind of visualisation helps you escape the realities of your situation and let your mind explore its creativity, there are other methods for escape of course – but I can’t speak from experience there (Yellow Submarine, anyone?) for me though, I find the best way to clear my mind when I don’t have much time to relax in a soundscape, is progressive music – like dance music or any catchy tune, you know the ones you like to follow or tap your feet with.  There’s a technical and psychological reason for why we do that by the way – called Syncopation but again, that’s a story for another day

I think I’ve rambled enough for one blog entry, I hope you found the patience to read through – wow 609 words yeesh!

If I had the same success with my writing, I’d be doing great!

A Word on Stereotypes…. and blogs

Woohoo! Another entry in less than a month, I’m doing well… the words are strong with me today. Or, I really just had something to share

This morning, my car battery was flat. Completely dead, not so much as a fizzle from the central locking or display panels. I find this confusing and call my husband down, since he was the last to use it and I think that maybe he knows something. So he tried it, had a look and said the sidelights were left on, possibly for the whole weekend and we all know that means curtains for the car battery. We had to call the AA out to get the car started and going again.

The first thing someone might think when they hear that sort of event is that the silly woman was responbsible for the mis-deed. Funny that isn’t it?

It was actually James that did it this time(goodness knows how he didn’t hear the warning chime!).
I look back and laugh, I think that people should stop thinking so two-dimensionally. There are many more dimensions to an individuals identity than the stereotype image that the media depicts. There’s more to go into here, but I’m short on time to form the words properly. (maybe later )

Anyway, the other point I was going to make was about blogs, I tell myself I’d like to see a few comments on an entry – but then ask myself “Just exactly how many comments have you made lately?”
Hand-on-heart, I’ve made two comments in the past two weeks but not really anytime before that. That said, though, I’ve not read too many blogs with comments enabled either. But anyway, I digress, if I promise to write more comments on blogs I see, would you comment on this one?

You will?
Oh Cool I look forward to reading them!

L

Meeting a stranger… and other stuff

Well its been a couple of days since the last update here and I’m staying true to myself and trying to keep updating regularly.

Yesterday I had the pleasure of meeting someone new via Twitter and we connected on IM to chat about dates and boyfriends and stuff It was very cool, not simply because we were solving a particular problem, but also because it had been so long since I’ve chatted to anyone new on IM (Instant Messanger) actually now that I mention it she wasn’t the only new person I’ve began chatting to – so its been a good week so far!

Meeting new people is exciting and enjoyable, its always great to find out any interests you share or topics you both enjoy reading about. Things work out even better if you actually get along with the person your chatting to – heh go figure, like you couldn’t work that out for yourself!

As far as Twitter goes, I’m still having fun with it, its defineatly worth a go – but you have to be on the look out for advertisers posing as people. They’ll follow you and hope that you follow back you’ll know the sort right away if you see a profile full of internet links or suspiciously repeating posts, or similar posts.

If you hook up here to this blog and want to try it out, look me up, my Twitter ID is Lisa107b